Festivus Grievances for 2016

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I’ve got a lot of problems with you people! So in the spirit of Festivus here are four of my grievances for 2016.  After this prepare yourself for the Feats of Strength.

  1. Apps Trying to do Everything

I am a simple man.  I want my Facebook to be Facebook, I want my Twitter to be Twitter, I want my Snapchat to be Snapchat, and I want my Instagram to be Instagram.

I do not want Facebook to also be a marketplace.  I don’t want Twitter to have moments, and sorry friends, but I don’t care about 95% of your livestreams. Don’t even get me started on “Tinder Social”. The madness needs to stop.

My advice for folks in the social media realm: stay in your lane.

2. Condescending videos from Buzzfeed and MTV

MTV’s Resolutions for White Guys video has gotten a lot of attention in the media lately, even to the point that MTV decided to take the video down.  MTV and Buzzfeed has been up to this game for a while though, and at this point it is really just giving anti-SJW YouTubers easy material to do commentary on.

Questions Black People have for White People, Questions Women Have for Men, Questions Gay People Have for Straight People, Questions Asians Have for White People. That is only scratching the ridiculous surface.  Buzzfeed and MTV’s obnoxious undergraduate college style social justice campaign is more about self righteous moral posturing than it is about trying to help folks in dire situations.

3. GQ giving Keith Olbermann a platform

Dang it GQ.  Your job is to give me a style tip or two when I quickly flip through your pages while I am waiting in line at the grocery store check out.  However in the final days of the 2016 election the Brain Trust over at Gentleman’s Quarterly decided it would be a good idea to awaken liberal hack Keith Olbermann from his ancient slumber and give him a series on their YouTube channel.  

Originally calling his series “The Closer” presumably because Mr. Olbermann would be the closing pitcher who would “strike out” the Donald Trump team in the last few months of the campaign.

When Donald Trump was successful in his election Keith Olbermann changed the name of the show to “The Resistance” and has gone on to encourage liberal to fight President Elect Trump tooth and nail, even instructing folks not to call him by the title President, only as “Trump”.

In the age of media overreaction Mr. Olbermann is the most hysterical boy in hysteria town. Come on GQ, just go back to telling me which suits to buy.

4. Celebrity Deaths

Hey celebrities, STOP DYING! In a VERY abridged list, in 2016 we lost: David Bowie, Alan Thicke, John Glenn, Gwen Ifill, Arnold Palmer, Prince, Alan Rickman, Kimbo Slice, Gene Wilder, Muhammad Ali, Merle Haggard, Antonin Scalia, Nancy Reagan, even the guy who played R2-D2 for Heaven’s Sake!

I was not emotionally prepared for some of these, so my biggest grievance of 2016 has to be the celebrity deaths.

Spread the word!


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